In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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