For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
