Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
