Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
