but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
