You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
