Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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