You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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