omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
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He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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