No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
