do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
