she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
