you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
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Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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