and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.