I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.