he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!