is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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