We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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