dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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