WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
