You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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