i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
