I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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