So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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