Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
