when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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