SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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