dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Boobs speak an international language.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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