Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
