Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
