if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
