I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize