is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
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she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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