nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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