Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
