I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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