yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
