Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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