it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
