absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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