Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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