We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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