I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
