He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
