wat bout pragnant strippers??
what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!