Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.

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(410): View more from Maryland

it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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(206): View more from Washington

she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?

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