dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"