Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
