Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  we need to stop having unprotected sex.

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.

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  (319): we need to stop having unprotected sex. (1-319): ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores. http://tfl.nu/85im
  Replies (31) Good night (1225) Bad night (4221)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (816): peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/fl0l
  Replies (6) Good night (1919) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

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  (717): It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade http://tfl.nu/l96w
  Replies (9) Good night (4631) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

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  (832): I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/ohwe
  Replies (25) Good night (6689) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.

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  (303): I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college. http://tfl.nu/snfw
  Replies (3) Good night (3914) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

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  (662): Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference. http://tfl.nu/teq1
  Replies (7) Good night (2417) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...

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  (404): STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing... http://tfl.nu/ooo5
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"

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  (512): They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do" http://tfl.nu/5kcu
  Replies (8) Good night (2958) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome

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  (814): Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome http://tfl.nu/l5b3
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.

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  (229): I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win. http://tfl.nu/j7rq
  Replies (1) Good night (727) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.

  (817): View more from Texas

  Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".

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  (817): Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender. (817): Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii". http://tfl.nu/6w6n
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.

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  (601): My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service. (1-601): Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar. http://tfl.nu/yh0y
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one

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  (918): She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one http://tfl.nu/uqwv
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol

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  (317): did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen? (1-317): All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol http://tfl.nu/15ix
  Replies (1) Good night (918) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?

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  (610): Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko? http://tfl.nu/8pln
  Replies (2) Good night (375) Bad night (357)

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