you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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