We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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