I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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