We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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