She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
