have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
