These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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