it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?