just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
