So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
