On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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