Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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