yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Fuck appropriateness.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
