i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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