Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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